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The excerpt represents the core issue or deciding factor on which you must meditate, and is drawn from The Wife, et al by Anton Chekhov: For no reason I begin crying and burying my head in the pillow.
At such times I am afraid that some one may come in; I am afraid
of suddenly dying; I am ashamed of my tears, and altogether there
is something insufferable in my soul. I feel that I can no longer
bear the sight of my lamp, of my books, of the shadows on the
floor. I cannot bear the sound of the voices coming from the
drawing-room. Some force unseen, uncomprehended, is roughly
thrusting me out of my flat. I leap up hurriedly, dress, and
cautiously, that my family may not notice, slip out into the
street. Where am I to go?
The answer to that question has long been ready in my brain. To
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