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The excerpt represents the core issue or deciding factor on which you must meditate, and is drawn from Reminiscences of Tolstoy by Leo Tolstoy: have others doing everything for you, lifting you and helping you
to sit up, that's what's so awful.
"And how does he endure it? Got used to it, you say? No; I
cannot imagine having Vera to change my linen and wash me. Of
course she would say that it's nothing to her, but for me it would
be awful.
"And tell me, is he afraid to die? Does he say not? Very
likely; he's a strong man, he may be able to conquer the fear of
it. Yes, yes, perhaps he's not afraid; but still--
"You say he struggles with the feeling? Why, of course; what
else can one do?
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