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The excerpt represents the core issue or deciding factor on which you must meditate, and is drawn from The Hidden Masterpiece by Honore de Balzac: more a lover.
"Kill me!" she answered. "I should be infamous if I still loved thee,
for I despise thee. I admire thee; but thou hast filled me with
horror. I love, and yet already I hate thee."
While Poussin listened to Gillette, Frenhofer drew a green curtain
before his Catherine, with the grave composure of a jeweller locking
his drawers when he thinks that thieves are near him. He cast at the
two painters a look which was profoundly dissimulating, full of
contempt and suspicion; then, with convulsive haste, he silently
pushed them through the door of his atelier. When they reached the
threshold of his house he said to them, "Adieu, my little friends."
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