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The excerpt represents the core issue or deciding factor on which you must meditate, and is drawn from Paz by Honore de Balzac: "I, and God, who will reward me for suffering in silence, alone know
how I love her! But how shall I manage to have neither her love nor
her dislike?"
And his thoughts travelled far on this strange theme.
It must not be supposed that Thaddeus was living without pleasure, in
the midst of his sufferings. The deceptions of this day, for instance,
were a source of inward joy to him. Since the return of the count and
countess he had daily felt ineffable satisfactions in knowing himself
necessary to a household which, without his devotion to its interests,
would infallibly have gone to ruin. What fortune can bear the strain
of reckless prodigality? Clementine, brought up by a spendthrift
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