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The excerpt represents the core issue or deciding factor on which you must meditate, and is drawn from Letters of Two Brides by Honore de Balzac: Renee, I know that my nature is the lover's rather than the mother's.
Therefore before taking this vow upon my soul, I implore you, my
Renee, if this disaster befall me, to take the place of mother to my
children; let them be my legacy to you! All that I know of you, your
blind attachment to duty, your rare gifts, your love of children, your
affection for me, would help to make my death--I dare not say easy--
but at least less bitter.
The compact I have thus made with myself adds a vague terror to the
solemnity of my marriage ceremony. For this reason I wish to have no
one whom I know present, and it will be performed in secret. Let my
heart fail me if it will, at least I shall not read anxiety in your
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