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The excerpt represents the core issue or deciding factor on which you must meditate, and is drawn from The Varieties of Religious Experience by William James: after his conversion became an active and useful rescuer of
drunkards in New York. His experience runs as follows:--
"One Tuesday evening I sat in a saloon in Harlem, a homeless,
friendless, dying drunkard. I had pawned or sold everything that
would bring a drink. I could not sleep unless I was dead drunk.
I had not eaten for days, and for four nights preceding I had
suffered with delirium tremens, or the horrors, from midnight
till morning. I had often said, 'I will never be a tramp. I
will never be cornered, for when that time comes, if ever it
comes, I will find a home in the bottom of the river.' But the
Lord so ordered it that when that time did come I was not able to
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